21.9.12

Charity Shop Favourites #1 - The Regulars




Being as I am a tight-fisted music obsessive, as well as a seeker of curiosities, a charity shop vinyl trawl is my idea of a grand way to spend an afternoon. Through much squatting and hunching, a hoard of the bland and bizarre is made to yield its gems – the intriguing, the ridiculous, the unexpected, and even the odd surefire winner. Part of the fun is that you never know what you're going to find.

But that's not quite true...there are some records which I come across over and over again, which I always pass by with scorn. “You again!”, I think, “I'll never buy you, even if you do only cost 50p.With my lack of interest there is mingled distain and the lurking knowledge that everything in the shop has been rejected by the original owner. And also, lately, I feel a little pity. So to this article, in which I will lend a few of these regulars my ears and best attempts at an open mind.

Bread – The Best Of Bread
The first few times I saw The Best Of Bread I think I had a little chuckle at the banality of the name. Assuming the music inside to be similarly dull and stupid, I have never been tempted by the thought of what music these four badly dressed men 'hanging out' around a tree might make, pleasant as their font may be. 

Until now! Here goes...

Bread sound like nice guys. Too nice. This record's gentle grooves, lush if standard period orchestration, and smooth melodies make it perfectly listenable, but I think the key to its bargain bin ubiquity lies in its weediness. Those 70s cats who've been wheedling out the records they never listen to for a good cause stop their thumb on The Best Of Bread and wonder "Am I a Bread fan?" and the four inane grins on the cover do little to assert themselves, before finding themselves in a binbag bound for Scope.

In terms of individual songs, Wikipedia informs me that many of these were pretty big hits, four of them US top 5's, and as such they are pretty damn accessible. Their No. 1 hit, Make It With You, is a polite soul-influenced love song, with quite a nice guitar sound and an unremarkable string overdub. Around half of the other songs are along the same lines, polite ballads with either strings or some twinkly/twangly guitar. Everything I Own gets a special mention as the cheesiest and worst of all, with a really awful chorus.

Let Your Love Go is a little better, reminiscent of Sunflower/Surf's Up-era Beach Boys, though without the genius harmonies. It has some harpsichord which pleases me, but also an anemic, out of place guitar solo which lasts for a feeble few seconds near the end. Been Too Long On The Road, Down on My Knees, Mother Freedom and Truckin' also flirt with the Sunflower vibe, the vocals especially have a similarity to the Carl and Dennis Wilson 'trying to be a bit more manly' tone. Bread seem to have two kind of songs, one of which I quite like. Annoyingly, the record is organised so that these types alternate, so what could be a record with one fairly good side is instead a record with two pretty crap sides. Begone, Bread! I shall listen to the Beach Boys instead. Rhymes.

BEST SONG: Been Too Long On The Road
VALUE : 20p

The Torero Band - Lennon & McCartney Tijuana Style / Tijuana Christmas

It's fairly obvious why these two pop up regularly: it's a shitty gimmick. But lively Mexican Brass with that skittering percussion is so fun, I hear you cry - when paired with the songs we all know and love, what could go wrong?

Well, the missing ingredient here is inspiration or imagination of any kind. The covers are all exactly as you'd imagine, and therefore there's pretty well no point listening to the record. Hence, off to Dog's Trust they go. The Lennon & McCartney one does particularly badly because the originals are such treasures, and the emotional capacity of the Tijuana Brass is infinitely lower than that of the human voice. Some of my least favourite Beatles numbers are represented, but rather than getting a sprightly Mexican injection, Ob-La-Di, Yesterday, and Hey Jude are a crashing bore to listen to. The songs that come off best, Can't Buy Me Love and the strangely jubilant Eleanor Rigby, offer a swinging groove and some vibes, and hint at the possibility of this project being done well. But not too much.


And so to Tijuana Christmas. It's better, in a sense, because yuletide songs are mostly crap and thus easily improved. Then again, they are mostly crap. I don't really want to hear Jingle Bells at all, even if it is swinging and hornsome. Silent Night is quite amusing, conjuring up images of the sweet baby Jeebus relaxing beneath the palms with a margarita. Pretty much the best that can be said for this record is that it's slightly amusing, in a funny once way. Maybe it's intentional, seeing as it's only likely to be played once a year, and when everyone's pissed. This would be a good soundtrack to a big family argument, the horns parping away Ding Dong Merrily On High as presents are hurled, wine glasses dropped, and slurring voices grumble and screech.

BEST SONG: Can't Buy Me Love
VALUE: Nil


James Last - Last The Whole Night Long

I could have chosen any James Last album. They all live in the boxes beneath the books in the dark corners of charity shops. This one won my attentions by it's brilliant cover art and punning title. A quick Wikipedia sheds some light, revealing that he's released an insane (scroll to the bottom) amount of music, and had a string of 52 (!) hit albums in the UK between 1967 and 1986. Last The Whole Night Long is 1979, in the middle of his reign. That means loads of your parents probably bought this. Then gave it to charity. And the reason is...

It's really, really, dreadful. I don't think I'm going to manage to listen to all 50 of the songs. The title of the record becomes a kind of threat when you hear it. It's vacuous pop covers with some larger scale arrangements and chorus vocals. The style varies a little, sometimes with a plastic groove, sometimes kind of Latin, but is always insubstantial and corny. No tracks stand out, though you'll know some of them. My personal favourite was Boney M's Rasputin, because it's very silly and catchy, and even James Last can't take that away from it. Though he does sap some of the fun out of it. I've reached the end of the first side and I'm throwing in the towel.

It's unfair to judge such a huge output (dare I say ouvre?) from one record, but Last The Whole Night Long is truly shite. Never buy it, except possibly for the cover art or as a gift for an enemy. 

BEST SONG: n/a
VALUE: 5p, if you destroy it and keep the cover



 Don Williams - Volume One

Don is another who seems to have his entire discography in charity shops, and again he has produced a lot of albums over the years. Country music tends to be well represented, especially those endless compilations of 20/30/40 HITS with their names plastered over a desert backdrop, but the honest shweeper and lambchops of Don Williams warms me to him more than to those records.

It starts with a mid pace, fairly average number, Come Early Morning, elevated by Don's rich, fatherly vocals and some meandering violin and harmonica. It's nothing remarkable, but it's from the non-cheeseball country style that I've only recently been discovering, so I'm finding a mellow charm in it. Endless Sleep has a great sound, with a bit of distortion on the chugging guitar, some bongos, finger clicks, slide, and lyrics about saving a lover from drowning. Don was the first to record I Recall A Gypsy Woman, which is a really great song. The Waylon Jennings version is better, with a bit more bite and some nifty coin jangling sounds, but this mellow original has its merits.

On Side 2 we start off with No Use Running, which rocks the close harmonies and a Cajun accordion/banjo flavouring. My Woman's Love has a shimmying beat and gets quite sentimental with a brief but lovely Tex-Mex trumpet. The ender, Amanda, featuring Don's loveliest baritone, is a simple song praising the faded beauty of a partner who deserved better than to be with a country boy who's "crowding thirty and still wearing jeans". It's great, and I always dig a good ender. Amidst the songs I've mentioned there's some more middle of the road material, but overall Volume One is a warm, relaxed slice of 70's country pie.

BEST SONG: Amanda, although I Recall A Gypsy Woman is also tasty.
VALUE: £2

So there you have it, 1 (and maybe a half for Bread) hits, lurking in those five Regulars, just waiting to be snaffled up by all you eager readers. Look forward to more Charity Shop Favourites in the future...

No comments:

Post a Comment